Monday.

X1 approached me during Int. and said, "So, is today the greatest day of your life?"
"What?" I asked. I had zip idea what he was talking about.
"Don't you know?" he asked.
I shook my head slowly. "No... What is it?"
"You're a published author."
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah, you're in The Age - "
I barely gave him a chance to finish his sentence before I started jumping up and down and screaming.
"What's going on?" our teacher asked.
C11, looking on, said, "X1 just asked her to marry him."
"I got published!!"

And then there was some talk about which part it was (because I screamed before X1 could specify). The first part of Elliot, one of my first short stories (albeit not the very first since the first one I wrote was about my dog and is buried under a pile of other Primary School shizen) from Year 10.
I told everyone what it was about, lalala... And I was so, so happy!

They published the first part and then put a link to my blog down the bottom so people could go there and read the rest!!
By the end of the day I'd had more than 200 more hits!! And people keep coming on! It's fantastic!

I joined this Writers' Group for this school magazine that my English teacher is running.
Anywho, it is filled with a bunch of freaks.

Freak 1: The Other Me. Enough said. I mean, she's a total cake face and changes her hair colour every goddamn week. She left home and now she has zip money but still managed to obtain what looks like a new shimmery eyeshadow. Look out, people. We might just have a klepto on our hands. She read some poem about how much she thinks life sucks inspired by a guy whose name she can't even pronounce.

Freak 2: I hate him, not least because he dumped his girlfriend for Freak 3 (we'll get to her) and his now-ex is dating the Cute Year 11. It's a complete bummer for me, Smiles Too Much and, possibly X1, whose sexuality is yet to be discovered.
He's designing the front cover of the 'Zine, with a chainsaw (and there was talk of bits of flesh, but I'm pretty sure that idea's dead. If not, I will murder it...with a chainsaw).
Plus he's a complete efaux.

Freak 3: Also an efaux; also hated because she's part of the reason C11 is off the market.
However, she's so efaux she's even more "depressed" than your average efaux. She writes poems about how angry and angst-y she gets because of her ex-boyfriends and writes poems about them that are supposed to have fifty layers or something, scrunches them up and then "digs them out of her locker" for a Writers' Group meeting.

My English teacher kept making me feel like it was a Writing For Dummies session or something. Every time someone read out their work, he'd be all like, "wow, that is really good" clap loudly and force everyone else to applaud with him.
I'm half planning to write something really shizen and read it out to see if he applauds or not. And if he makes a comment, I'll just make up some X1-esque excuse like, "you just don't understand my creative identities. Gosh."
But in all seriousness, I have no idea what to bring next time. He wants me to read because he loves my writing but everything I write is so long it'd take up 20 minutes of the meeting (which only goes for about half an hour). Bleck.

That's all for this entry. But check this space for more juicy gossip on the lives of the people of my stupid school.
You know you love me,
xoxo
Gossip Girl. (I'm too funny)

Yes, that's right. It's that time of year again. The time of year when people stock up on pens, finish their novels for the upcoming semester, rush to complete worksheets in between classes and fall asleep during first period because they are so accustomed to sleeping until 12:
End of Mid-Winter Break.
*cries*

This semester's timetable is looking out to be kuh-rap. I have free periods in the morning TWICE, which is annoying because, while it means that I will have more time off school, I am more likely to spend it sleeping than doing work (the actual purpose of having free periods). In addition, I have one of those stupid split-doubles, that goes over recess. Grr.

Chan and I wanted to go to the city on Monday (and then Tuesday) but the weather was not in our favour. So instead we settled for nothing on Monday and Westfield on Tuesday, which was pretty good. Only it was really hard to find parking. But it was okay. We sat in the food court and ate chips and drank coke and discussed the continually rising prices of basic commodities.

On the bright side, Chan and I met a few ultra-fun lads in the city on Wednesday at H.J. They were doing many attention-seeking things and they come from the country, but I reckon they're pretty cool. I ate a whopper and it was really big and stuff kept falling out.
But you know what's a cool word? Unbeknown. One of those guys used that word and I thought, That is a pretty fit word.

Then on Thursday I went to school for (yet another) International holiday class.
I didn't see the Cute year 11. I think I'm starting to give up on him, not least because he is (first and foremost) younger than me.
I digress. Class was average, not much better or worse than usual, but I'm still nervous about tre SAC on Tuesday.

Then on Friday I went to the city with K, which wasn't so interesting either. We walked around Melbourne Central and a bunch of arcades, etc, etc. She didn't feel hungry so I had lunch on my own at my train station at 3:00pm. It was a focaccia with chicken, avocado, mushrooms and cheese and it was pretty damn good (albeit way overpriced).

Yesterday we did zip. Went to the library, local shops, walked around in the freezing cold, got a bunch of free magazines from the nice librarian lady...blah. But last night we had crumbed fish and mac and cheese, which I really enjoyed eating. [I like eating. I eat a lot, often.]

And today we are planning on going to the mall. Which should be pretty good but I don't know if I'll buy anything in particular.

Anyway, I guess that'll be all from me now. The next time you hear from me I will be in my second semester of my final year of high school! Boo-rah!

What is it with teachers and taking fifty years to reply my e-mails??
I sent both my International and English teachers e-mails on Saturday, and normally they (particularly my Int. teacher) reply close to right away, but it's been two days and neither of them has replied. It is odd, and slightly annoying.

I really need to do homework but Chan is calling for my attention and television-watching skills.

It's K's birthday today. I called her this morning and we had a loverly chat.

Oh, B.T.W, I was wrong; the last time I wrote I actually had 11 days of Mid-Winter Break left. Thus today I have only 7 days left.

*screams*

Argh! Only eight more days until I must return to the cold, dreaded halls most people know as high school.

I'm really angry because I can't do my homework. I don't know why I can't do my homework. My concentration is faltering badly and I hate it because I was doing so well during our last holiday. I worked non-stop for one week and then I did nothing until the last three days where I studied to catch up. This time I've been alternately doing homework and bludging and I don't like it!

Today I went to school to see my International teacher because we have a SAC the second day back and I'm really freaking out about it. I feel that I am not ready at all. And I'm not. Seriously. But I'm not all that worried because it seems that the Cute year 11 is probably doing worse than me, given that he thinks the Hutus and Tutsis are ethnic groups in Somalia (don't feel bad if you don't know that; he just should because he does International Studies). But I should be more worried because he has the excuse that he has a disadvantage because he is in year 11. So, in conclusion, I should be more worried than I am.

I really want to re-tell what happened when I finished seeing my teacher, though.

"Hey, C11, are you leaving now?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he said.
"Walk with me?" I asked.
"Sure," he said.
So then we said goodbye to our teacher and left. His bag has about fifty thousand keychains on it and the zip is broken so it makes a lot of noise when he walks.
"Your bag makes a lot of noise," I commented.
"I know," he said. "It's worse when it's empty."
Then he told me about how he'd seen X3 and his friends at this RMIT Open Day or something yesterday, and how X3's friends kept fighting each other. C11 thinks it's "funny". I was about to comment on how lame it is when I realised that the very people I am trying to get "in" with do exactly the same thing (X2 tipping Chaser Buddy over the fence, Chaser Buddy jumping on Nanosax and yelling "Jumanji!", Nanosax jumping on Pedo's unsuspecting back, Pedo getting into punch-ons with everyone...), so I agreed that it was funny, because when my friends do it, it is funny.
Then we went on to talk about how everyone in my year is such a bogan, and how our principle told us that he was concerned we weren't going anywhere.
C11 said that our principle said that his year was one of the best he'd ever seen.
I said that it means that my marks are going to be pushed up.
We agreed that mostly everyone in our International class is smart (except for a select few). Then I had to apologise for laughing at the girl who asked if Barack Obama is a Democrat because C11 didn't know either. He said he didn't follow American politics. I apologised again. I can't remember him accepting the apology.
We agreed that X1, Greenie and 40A are the smartest in our class, as well as Ugly Hair Female, a year 11 who has a freakishly good memory and always gets 99%, but you can't read anything she writes.
Then I said that if the examiners can't read your writing they only mark what they can read and he talked about how he only got Cs on his two English papers and he knows it's because his writing is bad.
I had to bite my lip when he said "it's only English". I don't want him to get iffy with me because of my biased view as a writer.
Then I asked how the rest of his exams went. He got "some Bs and some As, so I'm on the right track". Yeah, well.
He asked me if I'd had any mid-years. When I told him I didn't, I explained that I prefer not having to do so many exams, even if it means I have to remember everything. He said he likes exams because this time he'd had exams for one week and then had the other week off. I told him he only liked what happened after exams, not the exams themselves.
I said that I'd had three days off. He said he'd had two weeks. I said I would finish before him. He said, "yeah, like a week!" I said then I'd be off forever, because the course I want to do only has nine contact hours, and haha! He asked what course, and then what was I going to do with the rest of my time. I said read, sleep...work.
Then he started talking about how he would get a job "as soon as one comes on my doorstep". He said that most people either have jobs at supermarkets or as kitchen hands. Low and behold, I work at a supermarket. He said he'd like to work as a kitchen hand.
Then things started to get serious.
He told me that he wanted money so he could move out of home.
"What? You want to move out as soon as...?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because," he said, "I hate my family."
"You hate your family?" I asked, incredulously.
"Well, I don't hate my whole family. I hate my brother and my sister. They're always fighting. So as soon as I can get out, I'm leaving."
You can't believe how sad I was to hear how horrible his home life is. I mean, my brother told me that C11's sister is afraid of his brother because he's a bully, and having met C11's brother, I see that he is a little shit, but I just can't believe that C11 hates life at home so much he's leaving the second he can.

People that need new nicknames:
-British Kid
-Christian That Likes Metal
-Ex-Bestie
-The Cute year 11
-Dancer That Might Like Me
-Never Know What He's Thinking
-Chaser Buddy's girlfriend (well, she needs a nickname)

British Kid
... I think his nickname is okay. It's not ridiculously long and at least it makes sense.

-British Kid

Christian That Likes Metal
Hmm. Well... He plays saxophone... He wants to do nano technology. How does "Nanosax" sound? Good? Good.

Christian That Likes Metal

Ex-Bestie
I guess she's okay. I really only want to fix up the nonsensical ones.

Ex-Bestie

The Cute year 11
I'm pretty sure he's fine.

The Cute year 11

Dancer That Might Like Me
She's a dancer. She might like me. And I know she liked The Glasshouse when it was on. But what to name her??

Never Know What He's Thinking
White Chocolate. It's a bit of an in-joke.

Never Know What He's Thinking

Chaser Buddy's girlfriend (well, she needs a nickname)
She is Chaser Buddy's girlfriend, so I now dub her: Chaser Buddy's Girlfriend. Wow, I'm original.

Chaser Buddy's girlfriend

People that still need new nicknames:
-Dancer That Might Like Me

So today Chan-us and I went to the city with mother and we had lunch/Yum Cha. It was quite fun.
I finished a book yesterday but I only thought it was "okay".
I started a new one today but I think I like it even less.

My brother and sister are going to Malaysia tonight. It's quite sad to see them go. I probably won't even notice though because I hardly see them as it is.

And that is my extremely short entry about my Mid-Winter Break so far.

T.T.Y.L. (Bleck)

First day of Mid-Winter Break.
And what fun it was. Well, not really, I suppose.

In the morning we went to the library to pick up books (I now have four new novels - tré holiday reading!) and then went to the bank because they've been taking money out of my account and I would like it back. But now that's settled, I'm okay.

Then later on in the day, Chan and I went to the mall where we saw Pedo with his latest girlfriend. Gosh, she's a bogan. They were talking about how they'd dacked this guy that's friends with Chaser Buddy, etc. last night and Pedo showed me a picture on his phone. It was not particularly nice, plus his girlfriend kept talking about the guy's size which wasn't very appropriate for such a public place.

Anyway, I hope he doesn't tell X2 he saw me at McDonalds because I had McDonalds on Tuesday and I saw X2 then. That could be quite embarrassing. It's not that I have take-out food an extravagant amount, but if they happened to talk about seeing me at McDonalds twice a week that could be quite embarrassing. Meh. It's not like my body shows it anyway.

What the Cute year 11 and I like:
1. Stuff.
2. Things.
3. Objects.
4. Possessions.
5. Items. [I made that one up. *Is proud*]

We had a discussion about it one time when we were walking from International to the Science Wing, but I think he forgot about it because we had the same conversation just then. That's right, I am talking to him right this very moment. Gosh, he makes me nervous, what with his sideburns and his cuteness and all.

We had a boring whole-school assembly second period today. But it was all right because I got an award for "outstanding academic achievement in more than one subject" - English and Literature. I'm ultra proud of me.
The assembly was supposed to be for our outgoing principle, as a part of Principle Week this week. His wife came and she and people from the Salvation Army were a part of the Official Party (for which we stand as they walk into the gym).
And there were some drama performances (one which was over-acted, the other which had one funny part - a year 11 ran into the projector screen and ripped it. You could tell that wasn't scripted, but it was the funniest thing all day) and the choir sang a song, and so did the staff choir, and so did some girls from the year 11 German class, and a couple of ex-students came back and got awards. Yeah, it wasn't all that great.
It was the longest. Assembly. Ever! It was supposed to go only for the period, which is, I think, 46 minutes, but it went for an hour and a half or something, and then at the end when we all stood up the vice-principle came on and rambled about all the "behind-the-scenes" people, who she has never talked about before. I bet she did it on purpose because it was the longest assembly we'd ever had and by the end of it everyone was restless and already chatting.

I sat next to Chaser Buddy. When I came back with my award, McDonalds Stickers (who was on the other side of Chaser Buddy) reached out and took my award from me.
"I'll just cross out your name and write mine," he said.
"I want one," Chaser Buddy whined jokingly.
They're fun.

Er, after homeroom, I came up behind the Cute year 11 (who, I have now decided, is not in desperate need of a new nickname) and hissed one of the names his brother's friends called him yesterday.
He turned around.
"Hey," I said, grinning in what I hope was a devious way.
"I haven't seen you all day," I thought I heard him say.
"What?" I asked, incredulously. I sort of thought he was, you know, glad to see me and it really shocked me.
"I haven't seen them all day," he told me. "So I'm good." I think some part of him is really afraid of them, which is so sad. All "liking" him aside, I feel so sorry for him.
I looked at my watch. "Well, it's still early." I grinned.
"It's still early," he repeated.
We turned the corner.
"Er, so where are you going?" he asked me.
I didn't say anything. Where was I going? My class was on the other side of the school; I'd just wanted to talk to him a little first. And we'd already passed the turn to my lockers, but oh well.
"My locker, but I forgot to turn the corner." I laughed nervously.
He didn't say anything.
"I just, you know, wanted to come bother you," I told him.
"Yeah, I thought so," he said as we climbed up the stairs.
"What do you have now?" I asked him, looking at his books.
"Physics," he replied.
"Ugh," I said. "You're all Science-y."
"Yup, I'm one of those Science guys."
We came to a turn.
"See you," I said, walking away.
He didn't say anything.

Oh gosh, what if he thinks I'm creepy? He thinks I'm creepy. Oh no.

That's right, I did. I got up to 19,994 on Thursday, then up to 20,001 on Sunday. Gosh, I have no life.

But, er, on Friday night Chan and I hung out, watching television and eating.

Then on Saturday we went to the mall and bought clothes. I got a vest for Principle Day and wanted to get an eyelash curler but didn't get around to it because we had to leave. Oh, and I got a long-sleeved top from that skanky shop (the top itself is not actually that skanky) to wear under all my clothes since it's Winter.

Principle Day: actually, this week is Principle Week but on Wednesday it's uniform-free day and so we're supposed to dress up as our principle. I'm using it as an excuse to try out the whole "girls-wearing-suits" thing. It's a timeless classic, according to this week's issue of M. So anyway, I'll wear the vest (which is black and sort of tight and short) on top of a white shirt (that has a couple of layers of long-sleeves under it, because I'm predicting it's going to be cold) with black skinny jeans and I suppose my black Cons, that is unless I can get a pair of black flats by Wednesday, which seems unlikely so I think I'll just go with the Cons.
Some of the guys (including Chaser Buddy) are growing beards or wearing fake ones and I think the SRC wants us to wear red and white because the principle goes for the Swans. X1 says his contribution is wearing his red Converse shoes, which is a bit silly because he's supposed to be an SRC captain.

On Sunday we went to Yum Cha and it was v. cool, only I thought we might get to hit the West Mall or Westfield afterward and we didn't, much to my dismay. I want boots. :(

But today was fun. In International (fifth and sixth), we had to get in groups to do this competition thing, and I'm with Greenie and X1, two of the best and smartest students in the class (bar 40A who I couldn't stand working with anyway) and then C11 kind of looked at me (I hope he did, anyway) and then he came over to work with us! I guess it was because we had the smart kids but I like to live in this fantasy land where he came over because he thinks I'm brill.
So then we shimmied on down to the library and used the computers to find the information we needed.
C11's brother's class was in there and they kept yelling out all this stuff to him, mixing up his name and just being real shits - "C11 sucks balls!"; "C11's gay"; etc, etc.
I got really irritated and yelled at them to "shut up!" because I was in the middle of trying to say something and I lost my train of thought because they kept talking and yelling. Gosh it was annoying. But I felt sort of bad as soon as I'd done it because C11 "can fight my battles myself" but I think (scratch that; I hope) he got over it because it sounded like he was only joking. I don't know. All I know is that I really like him and think he's super cute.
We were on our way out and he was just sort of standing there and I just kind of reached out and hit his ass. Hopefully he thought that was flirty, not creepy, but he kept being nice and friendly to me so I assume he thought it was flirty or didn't think much about it at all.

Red 2 was really annoying me second period so I was glad she wasn't in my group fifth and sixth. I was talking to our teacher about my essay and she kept interrupting and saying her own points. It was beyond annoying. I was so tempted to turn to her and say, "Yeah, but who's essay is he correcting?"
Then she would have said, "Yours" really slowly and unsure of what I was getting at.
Then I would have said, "Exactly. When he finishes with me then you can talk as much as you want."
Then she would have got kind of nervous and bumbling and "Oh but I was just -"
And then I would have cut her off, saying, "No, you weren't 'just'."
And I'd come out on top in that argument. The only reasons I didn't start anything were because I'm not allowed to start things (I'm putting myself on a diet of non-bitchiness, which is a shame because I love doing my little eyebrow raises when I'm bitching. I imagine I'm like Amanda from Ugly Betty) and because our teacher was right there.

Grr... In Lit she kept tapping her damn nails on the table. It was so annoying. I just kept thinking, Gosh, you're not that fabulous and you never will be. Your mother's a divorcee public servant for crying out loud!
Besides, her nails are so ugly. She tries to pull off the squoval, but she can't manage it. And she has fat hands. FAT HANDS!
Ooh, crap. Totally broke the no-bitching diet just then.

Aaaanyway...
X1 totally ditched me during free period today. I had to sit on my own with all the scary wog guys at the next table. I actually never found out where he really was.

Well, even if I get easily annoyed at Red 2 and X1 left me all alone in free period, I should be happy because C11 and I got to talk for so long today, without the interruption of his annoying year 11 friends (does that count as breaking the no-bitching diet?)

I have to say that I feel quite bad about this morning. I woke up a little late and got sort of grumpy because Chan put all these balloons in my room. I should have appreciated it a lot more because she's so cool and I heart her sooooo much. In fact, I love her so much I am willing to put superfluous "o"s on the end of "so". And she left me a little note in the bathroom and I should have given her a big hug and let her know how thankful I was.

But at breakfast (where she had made banana smoothies, and she makes THE BEST banana smoothie) we hugged and had a jolly old time being happy. So I suppose that sort of makes up for it.

As I was running down the stairs to homeroom, I passed Chaser Buddy.
"Hey," I said. "Guess what? It's my birthday today! I'm eighteen!"
"Oh, happy birthday!" He said. "You can go to the pub." He, X2 and I had talked about going to the pub on Monday.
"I know!"
Then X2 appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "It's my birthday!" I said excitedly.
"Awesome! Happy birthday," he replied. "You're...seventeen?"
"Eighteen," I corrected him.
"Awesome," he said again. "I'll wish you happy birthday later." I think he meant a proper happy birthday as we were both late-ish to homeroom
Then, when I got to homeroom, I told my homeroom-slash-International teacher:
"Guess what day it is today?"
"What day is it?" she asked.
"It's my birthday!"
"Oh! Happy birthday!"
And then we had some discussion about driving and birthday parties (I'm not having one btw, they're just too much to deal with. I like just celebrating with family).

Then when I walked out, I saw C11. He was walking on his own so we walked to class together. I purposely chose not to tell him it was my birthday. It's not that I minded telling him as such; it's just that I don't want to remind him that I am older than him. Not really, I mean.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey," he replied. "Ready for more note-taking?" We were watching a video in International.
"Oh yeah," I said.
"I was so good yesterday; I was writing down everything!"
I laughed. "Extreme note-taking."
"I want to really try this semester," he said. "That way, at the end of the year, even if I get a bad mark, I can at least say I tried."
"Ohh..." I said, "don't get too down on yourself; International is hard."
"Politics is way hard!"
"Yeah," I agreed. "You're brave; I wouldn't have taken it in year 11."
"Nah, I'm just dumb," he said.
"You're not dumb! Don't say that."
Then we went up the stairs so we didn't talk much and when we were waiting outside the room I couldn't think of anything to say to him.

We were still waiting outside the room and slowly members of the class began to congregate. I really, really wanted to talk to C11 but I eventually gave up desperately searching for conversation topics because I worry that La Fatla can sense my attraction to the younger boy and she may bitch about me to her friends.
Anyway, X1 approached and there was someone in between me and him, but he said, "happy birthday" and I said "thank you", in a voice that I hope was cute and coy.
X1 is really nice and quite hot, but I feel bad because I haven't been all that nice to him these past few days. I haven't been mean exactly, but just not particularly nice or paying attention in general. I sat with him today and we didn't have the most fun, but it was okay and there was no awkwardness or meanness.

Then it so happened that C11 and I fell into step as we were walking to second period. We were walking down the stairs and he said, "don't you just love crowded stairwells?"
"Oh yeah," I replied sarcastically. "The way you have to, you know, shuffle behind everyone...it's great!"
Then, as we were walking through the year 8 boys' lockers, we were both silent and I really wanted to make the most of our conversation at that point so I said...
"So..." Aren't I the Queen of Creative Conversational Topics?
"Yeah..." C11 replied slowly. "Do you like stuff?"
I nodded, glad we could talk about something, anything. "I do like stuff."
"Yeah? What about things? Do you like things?" he asked.
"I LOVE things!" I said excitedly.
"You like objects?" he asked, grinning.
"I do."
"What about...possessions?"
I laughed.
"Yeah, see, I can think of only four of those," he told me.
I nodded, searching my brain for another synonym. "Items," I suggested, pointing at him.
He nodded. "Items."
Then I had to turn the corner so I said goodbye.

Our English teacher was away so we had a free period second. I sat in the (extremely crowded) Study Hall with X2 and Chaser Buddy.
I entered and took probably the only empty seat next to them.
"Hey," X2 said, holding out his hand, palm down. I placed mine beneath it, palm up and he slapped my hand. "Happy birthday." Then he nudged Chaser Buddy. "Hey, it's her birthday, you know."
"Yeah, I know!" Chaser Buddy said. "Happy birthday," he added, to me.
"Thank you," I said, sitting down.
Then the too-tall year 12 coordinator came in and yelled at us all. "Everyone, I am trying to write reports and it is very difficult with you all in here talking, so could you please keep it down? Now, I'm going to come around and check that you all have your Study Hall Passes."
It's the dumbest thing. They introduced these Study Hall Passes that you have to keep whenever you're in the Study Hall. It's like a little contract that says you won't talk and that you'll just sit and do your work. Anyway, on the day he gave them out I was at the back of the class and he didn't see me and then he just left, but I figured it didn't matter because I hardly go in the Study Room anyway.
"Oh crap," I muttered. "I don't have mine. I should probably go."
I stood up and gathered my books.
"Hey, are you using this chair?" some dude asked me.
"Well, he's probably going to kick me out, so I guess not," I answered, beginning to leave.
"Nah, just stay!" Chaser Buddy said.
"Yeah, if he tries to kick you out, just tell him it's your birthday!" X2 said.
I laughed and put my books back on the table.
"He doesn't check them anyway," Chaser Buddy said as I sat down. "Whoever doesn't have theirs leaves so he'll just think that you have yours."
I shrugged and got out my International notes.
"When are those questions due?" Chaser Buddy asked X2.
"They're not due," X2 replied. "They're German."
Chaser Buddy and I stared at him.
"Get it? Jews and Germans? Oh, ho ho!"
I laughed. Not at the joke though, not really, more at X2's sarcastic humor. He's like that.

So partway through the period X2 and Chaser Buddy left and I was sitting in the Study Hall with a whole lot of people that I neither like nor care about, but I didn't want to look strange, so I just kept working.

At the start of recess, I was at my locker and Dancer That Might Like Me (DTMLM) said, "happy birthday" to me!
I asked her how she knew. "MySpace? Facebook?"
"Oh, I just know," she said. "I'm smart, you see?"
I laughed.
Then Red 1 came over and said "happy birthday".
Then Ex-Slash Buddy came over and pointed at me, saying, "it's your birthday!" excitedly. "Facebook reminded me!"
I grinned.
"Happy birthday!" Meatball said, leaning down to give me a hug and a kiss. I sort of regret being down at my locker while all this was happening. It might have been nicer to appreciate a hug while it was happening, rather than when I had my head in my locker and was drinking from my water bottle. But oh well.

Then, I went and found those guys that I'm aiming to get "in" with. I found them standing over near the boys' lockers. They were all standing in a circle and I just sort of sauntered in.
"Hey," I said. "I'm all alone, so I thought I'd come and bother you guys."
Christian That Loves Metal (CTLM) grinned and said, "we're bitching about [my Legal teacher]."
"...She's always late, and today she's away!" Never Know What He's Thinking (NKWHT) was saying.
I nodded. "I know. Did you know, apparently someone from our Legal class had their parents call up and say that she's never there? Why would you do that?"
"I know! She told our Economics class that!" NKWHT said. "And now she's away today!"
I actually didn't have Legal today so I didn't know she wasn't at school.
"She's a good teacher, though," I said. "Just late a lot."
NKWHT nodded.
"I'm not sure how she is for Eco though. Is she a good Economics teacher?" I asked.
"She's all right," NKWHT answered.
It was pretty fun. I mean, those guys are really accepting, so you know you could just sort of fit in - there's no real mould. Plus, I had previous ties with all of them. I've known NKWHT and CTLM since year 7, and Chaser Buddy and X2 since year 8, so I sort of had easy entry.
We talked about Principal Week (our principal's retiring soon, and apparently next week is a surprise week for him. Teachers are sworn to secrecy, but students aren't, so I am so tempted to just walk past him and ask, "Sir, are you excited about Principal Week?) and other things.
Then, near the end of recess, X2 hugged Chaser Buddy's girlfriend, as a joke, and they got into a little fight (a play-fight, I mean) and X2 sort of lifted Chaser Buddy and tipped him over a waist-high fence.
Then X2 leant me his scarf. It's quite cool. We're supposed to be only allowed to wear navy blue scarves, but this one is more like a dark blue.
That was the first recess since Red 2 and I "broke up" in which I wasn't doing homework in the library.

Then in third period, which was Lit, we were studying poetry, and that was quite interesting but not really worth documenting in a blog.

Fourth period was free period and X1 and I sat at a table in the library.
"Howcome you weren't here second period?" he asked.
"I was in the Study Hall with X2 and Chaser Buddy," I replied. "Why?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Red 2 was in here, is all."
"Oh okay."
Then we spent most of our free period studying. He couldn't find the word "float" (as in, those things at parades) in his Japanese dictionary, and we couldn't think of a synonym for it.

At lunch I hung out with CTLM, NKWHT and Chaser Buddy and Chaser Buddy's girlfriend. X2 left early and I didn't get to give him his scarf back and then NKWHT was talking to him on the phone and then when I went over to him he said, "she says thank you for the scarf," into the phone, which was quite funny but I didn't get to talk to X2 because all he said was "catch you later" and hung up.

Fifth + sixth = Math. Not v. interesting.

So then I went to the mall after school to claim my free birthday Boost Juice (which made my lips go a funny blue colour so I'm thinking I might just skip it next year).

We had a pumpkin soup, then Chicken Kiev with steamed vegetables and baked potatoes for dinner and later a strawberry cheesecake (so good!!) and we took lots of photos which is good because Chan and I haven't taken all that many photos together for a while.
Chan gave me this cute little book full of stuff that we do together (but it's private so I'm not publishing details here. Besides, you wouldn't get half of it anyway) and the first season of CNNNN on DVD and a whole lot of chocolate + money!

So, overall, a very, very, VERY good day.

People that need new nicknames:
-everyone mentioned yesterday
-Dancer That Might Like Me
-Never Know What He's Thinking
-Chaser Buddy's girlfriend (well, she needs a nickname)

Today was, as far as school days go, not too bad.

Our Math teacher was away so we had a free period first. I sat with Christian That Likes Metal (CTLM, who also needs a new nickname) and we talked about school and that murderous SAC yesterday. He's fun.

Then, during second period, when I walked into the room X2 and Chaser Buddy weren't there yet, so I didn't know where to sit and ended up sitting next to Red 2 (Gr). There were two empty seats on the other side of me and Ex-Bestie and Tails Up entered and chose to squeeze in between our row and the row behind us so they could sit with 40A. Gawsh. Am I really that bad? See, this is why I love sitting next to Chaser Buddy and X2. They wouldn't do that to me.

Recess - went and read over Lit stuff in library. Not interesting.

Red 2 came and sat next to me in the Lit double. I had, at that point, resolved not to start anything because then I would be culpable and there would be even more reason for La Fatla, etc. to bitch about me. So I just kept quiet and didn't really say anything to her. I suppose it wasn't so bad because she hardly said anything, so I didn't get all that annoyed with her.
But when we were walking back from class, she said, "isn't your birthday sometime this week...or next week?" and then I frowned and said, "yeah...I don't know..." (I wasn't really listening, I suppose. Or I just didn't feel like talking about it) then she said, "you don't know your birthday?" then I laughed and said, "it's tomorrow", then she said, "yeah, that's what I said" then I said "no, you said, 'this week...or next week'" then she said, "well I wasn't quite sure and I didn't want to sound dumb." [Excuse the lack of proper punctuation just then] I know she's annoying, but it was sort of nice of her to remember, even though she already sent me a Facebook happy birthday a week ago.

Lunch was quite boring. Ex-bestie and I sat in the library talking about VCE subjects last year, which somehow led to discussion of the US election. Then 40A came in and I sort of felt awkward. I think 40A is all right, but I know that she doesn't like me much. Ex-bestie just hates that I'm always left out, and besides, we have all that history and background stuff that you can't just forget, so I suppose you could say that she and I are "friends". Then again, it's difficult to define "friends".

But International was fun because C11 sort of sat next to me. I mean, I sat with X1, but then, at the table on my other side sat C11 and Year 11 That Smiles Way Too Much. The tables were only about 10cm away from each other! Gosh, C11 is cute. He smiled at me sometimes, and when I asked him how to spell Philippenes, he said, (phonetically) "Fill-ee-peens?"
Ooh, and I touched his hand when he passed sheets to me. It's not like I haven't touched his hand before, but I'm pretty sure I didn't think of him as being the C in C11 just yet then.
When we were leaving, he was walking ahead of me, and when he saw me, we sort of fell into step with one another and that was quite cool but then he had to wait for Y11TSWTM because they were going to class together. Took him a while to remember which class he had next, but then again, he "gets mental blanks" so I suppose that's normal?

I would normally have had Legal sixth period, but our teacher wanted to write reports and our class is way too rowdy to do anything except follow suit and bludge, so I had a free period. X1 and I shimmied on down to the library, but, unfortunately Red 2 and Ex-Bestie had a free period. A bit silly, really. You'd think if you had a free period last you would go home. I only didn't because I would be picked up soon, and besides, X1 had band and it's pretty fun when you just get to hang with him. But it was quite poo because Red 2 and Ex-Bestie were there. Anyway, you don't want to hear about most of free period because it wasn't interesting. They were talking about jobs and how Red 2 wants to get one when she finishes school. She said she was considering doing work experience at her mother's work, and I thought, Yeah, doing work experience with public servants at the Department of International blahblah...Zzz... She also said she wanted to get a job at a cafe "in the city, probably" and that supermarket jobs are boring. Yes, I must say that working in a supermarket is not the most interesting thing in the world, and I don't even like it as much as I know I might like another job. Ex-Bestie asked, "what do you do?" and Red 2 replied by picking up air groceries and putting them down a few cm away. Then I sort of snapped.
"Supermarket jobs aren't that bad, you know. You get paid way more in a supermarket than you do at a cafe," I tried to say the word "cafe" with a degrading tone. "Besides," I continued, "you earn way more at a supermarket than you would at a cafe. I get $13 an hour." Okay, that was a bit of a lie. But I had to exaggerate in order to make my argument stick. I wanted her to know that although Ex-Bestie finds her intimidating, I do not, and there is no reason to find her scary, other than the fact that she wears blacker-than-black mascara over her pale blonde eyelashes against her white skin.
"Yeah, but if you work at a cafe, you get tips," she said in that stupid voice that she uses when she's trying to sound cool.
"Tips aren't very good, you know," I told her. "You can't get much in tips."
"Yeah," X1 put in. "And it really depends on the quality of the restaurant."
"And if you're working in the city, you'll be taking public transport, which is going to take a fair bit out of your pay."
"Yeah, well..."
Oh! Shut down.

People that need new nicknames:
-British Kid
-Christian That Likes Metal
-Ex-Bestie
-The Cute year 11

Sorry about the previous two entries.
I'm not that mad about the interruption now, given that it was Chan and we always have nice little talks at the end of the day.
So where was I?

...

Ah yes, I had just finished discussing that turgid Math SAC. Argh, eff it. There's nothing I can do about it now.

Lit was first period, which was pretty fun because I sat next to Fauxmo (who is, by the way, all right, despite his hubris and fauxmo-ity). He was telling me about how he woke up at 5am and after he'd turned the heater on to 25 degrees, went to sleep on a heating duct. Then he went on to talk about how his room is actually the warmest room in the house due to his snake tank, which has a incubator that goes up to 30 degrees, which led to his discussion about his snake's diet, which consists mostly of frozen rats and chickens. Fauxmo is all right though. Pretty nice and, at least, willing to talk to me.

But then everyone got moved because our teacher wanted us to discuss our essay paragraphs with someone other than the person we were sitting with. So I got moved to sit with British Kid (BK) who (besides needing a new nickname) is also surprisingly nice, esp. because he actually acknowledged my existence and talked to me. Pretty cool guy.
Anyway, he hadn't finished his paragraph so I just sat, and then we ended up talking for a while. He said that he'd planned to do the Legal questions (our teacher yelled at us all yesterday because two people in the class had done them and everyone else was just talking. Our class always is), but then got distracted. I said, "By...?" and he replied, "YouTube," with a little grin.
Then we were discussing the play and whether or not it would be one of our two chosen texts on the exam. I said probably, most likely, and he said he wasn't sure, but that he definitely wanted to do This Boy's Life. I said that I love This Boy's Life, but that I didn't think I could do it on the exam because there wasn't as much I could write about it, whereas (or as Red 2 would say, "as". Gosh that's annoying. I think she thinks that "as" can also mean "whereas". Or maybe she just cuts out the "where" to leave space for all her "sort of"s that she manages to put in between every damn word) there are a lot of underlying themes and issues and symbols I can write about with Three Sisters. However, I'm quite reluctant to do Sense and Sensibility because 1) it is an absolute bore and 2) it's very long and if we got an extract from it, I'm not sure I could place it the way I could with the other texts (which are much shorter).
I was talking about a part in the play when one of the characters contemplates committing suicide and BK said, "really?!" so I went to look for it just to prove it to him. It took me a while to find it and I said, "this book needs a Ctrl F" and he laughed! Which is pretty good because BK has such a high ranking on the social scale it makes me cool-ish by association + I made him laugh.

Okay, on to my little rant about Red 2. I don't know where we stand. This is what happened (the italics are my interpretation):
First, she wouldn't talk to me because she "wasn't expecting" me to make a scene at X1's (she didn't want to be friends with me any more).
Then she said that it was so funny people were unable to take anything I said seriously. Which made me think that she didn't take it that seriously, and thus was ready to put it behind us (she wanted to be friends).
But then she said that we couldn't "go back to sitting on the steps again", which I am now thinking was just an excuse for her to ditch me for my ex-Bestie and No. 40A. And that same afternoon she sent me a text saying that we could be "friends at a distance" but if not "we'll always remember the good times" (she didn't want to be friends).
And today she came and sat next to me so I had her on one side and Fauxmo on the other side (she wants to be friends)!!
I have no idea what is going on, but I don't want to start anything so close to holidays, so I am just going to sit back and let her drive. If she talks to me, I'll talk back. If she doesn't, I won't talk to her.

Dodgy builders! That was Andrew's other topic at The Chaser's Age Of Terror Variety Hour! Dodgy builders and the pope! "And that was [someone someone] with our 500th story on dodgy builders ... sex change, which is a way to alter/altar boys". I remembered it when I was relaying the show to Chaser Buddy (who was silly enough not to buy tickets with all the money he earns from working at McDonalds) yesterday morning (I haven't seen him in a week or something) and I didn't want to write it on my hand because then I'd have "dodgy builders" written on my hand and that would look weird. So instead I wrote it on my leg, where I though my skirt would cover it. However, I was wrong. When I sit down, the front of the skirt is longer than it is when I stand up. So I walked around with "dodgy builders" written on my thigh all day. Oh well.

Sorry about that previous entry. I was in the library at recess and I didn't know what time it was when I started writing. Then the bell rang and I might have been able to write more, but the fat old librarian came in and started screeching at everyone to get off the computers - "your teachers are dying to see you", blah. Puck you, Miss, puck you.

Anywho... Today has been an absolute suckfest. We had our Math SAC second period and it absolutely murdered me. I went and got my mark after Legal, and it was just below class average, which is not very good. And no, I will not reveal it here. It is far too embarrassing.
Our Math teacher keeps telling us that SACs don't matter, not if you do well on the exam anyway, which holds far more weight than the SACs do. All the same, that SAC really tripped me up. The questions were like nothing you could ever prepare for, and I'm so worried that our exam is going to be like that too. Crossing my fingers that it won't be that bad, esp. I'm actually okay at Math. Sure, it's not my best subject, but given my grades so far, I think I could certainly do better in it than I did in Business last year, even if I pretty much failed this SAC.

Interruptions...goddamn interruptions. I have to go. I'll finish this entry finishing my previous entry later.

Hello fellow bloggers and welcome to yet another entry of The Boring Life of Mieke. On today’s agenda…the bell. Never mind. Will write again when I get home.

My computer went all fuzzy on Thursday and it wouldn't turn off. I ended up having to switch it off at the power point. Anyway, so now I have been trying to use it less, and not leave it on when I don't need to. However, seeing as I turned it on as soon as I got up yesterday and today, I think we can label that so far unsuccessful.

I have also decided to give nicknames to some of the people I write about, just in case they happen to stumble across my journal and realise that not everything I say about people is nice. So, in order to protect these people from embarrassment (and myself from possible future lawsuits) I have decided to rename everyone, and give them nicknames according to some of their personal traits, or the way I see them in my eyes.
So after I finish typing this entry, I will edit the others to follow suit.

So yesterday Chan and I went to the mall and looked at things. I bought a nail polish and a "remnant" of violet material, both of which are for my Sailor Mars costume on muck-up day.
There are these cool black platform heels at Novo on sale for $50 and black leather boots on sale for $80, but I was hoping to get boots from Myer at the stocktake sale so maybe boots from Novo is not such a good idea. Besides, as far as I know I've never bought shoes from Myer before so I don't think I'll be getting those. The heels would be so good for the Valedictory Dinner at the end of the year, and the boots would work well for city trips in Winter (esp. when it rains because the water soaks through my Cons) - I could tuck my grey skinny jeans into them!
Oh, and yesterday I checked my bank account transactions and realised I haven't been paid for coming in (without notice!) last Sunday. So I called them this morning and they were all like, "we'll have to leave a note for the boss, but we can't do anything right now. By the way, do you think you can come in today 4-7?" Hell no. Not if you haven't even paid me for last week. Psh.
We went to the pool on Thursday (Correction Day) as well, and saw this lifeguard that looks like Topher Grace. We went again today and I swam more laps. Both times I neglected to bring my goggles, though, and I hate not being able to see where I'm going, but I hate opening my eyes in chlorinated water more. It was fun, nonetheless. Topher Grace lookalike was there again. Cute guy, but we couldn't date on account of the fact that he has seen me without make-up on. What is the point of wearing make-up to the pool if it's just going to wash off again? And don't say anything about waterproof mascara, blah, blah. It's made out of oil, and dries out your eyelashes worse than ordinary mascara, apparently. Besides, it'd be harder to remove.
I set the alarm on my iPod on Thursday night, as well as the alarm on my phone and the clock on my bedside table, because I didn't want to wake up late for the GAT (being late for exams is possibly the worst thing in the world). Anyway, I forgot to turn the alarm off on my iPod and every morning it goes off but it only has the headphones in so it doesn't do that good a job at waking me up. I should turn the alarm off. I'll do it now.

... Done.

Anyway, last night, Chan and I watched Richie Rich (even though we've seen that movie about 500 times and know all the lines - we're so lame) and then stayed up baking and watching the taped How I Met Your Mother and Ugly Betty episodes from this past week. Ugly Betty is getting really bad. What used to be cute is now horribly annoying, and the constant inferences to sex are...ugh. I mean, the very idea of Betty doing that is...ew! Plus, the plotlines aren't very dramatic and the characters seem to remain static, even though most of them are much more interesting than Betty herself. Hopefully next week will be better, but the fact that Victoria Beckham has a cameo makes that extremely dubious. How I Met Your Mother was, as always, laugh-out-loud funny with an interesting and believable plotline and characters. The scene in Ted's new car was hilarious.

So that has been my weekend. Uninteresting and unchanging as usual, but, for some reason, not boring at all. Not that I found, at least.

Bored? Go here:
http://WhenDarknessTurns.blogspot.com/

It was supposed to be a fun bus ride. Instead, my time with Cute year 11 (a.k.a. C11) was slashed (that's right, slashed) to a mere five or so minutes. The rest was filled with year 11s slamming on the super-hard GAT they'd never done before and blah, blah, blah.
My gosh.
I know I was only recently in year 11, but I swear the standards of that year have fallen so low. They're all so boring and strange. I mean C11 talked to some guy about losing some game and...penguins or something equally stupid. And then he talked to some other guy about "trick questions" on the GAT. Having looked over the 2007 answers, I can conclude there are no "trick questions".

To make matters worse, Ex no.2 (X2) and McDonalds Stickers took the bus too (granted, they got off at McDonald's so they could go to work) and hardly talked to me, choosing instead to chat to X2's (and I use this term loosely, especially since she tried the fishing rod move) "dance partner" and co. at the back of the bus.
Ga-ay.

The GAT wasn't too bad. Not all that hard, and I certainly feel like it is more within my grasp than I did last year, but I don't really feel like talking about it.

So I bussed it down to the mall and got some earrings and a few perfume samples (as a part of my birthday list) of Princess by Vera Wang, CKin2U and a Britney Spears one that I didn't really want but the lady gave me anyway. She was really nice. She said that I should be "treated like a princess" especially on my birthday. I've decided that Princess is definitely my new scent. It means that I deserve the royal treatment, and I so do.
I got jibbed on my bus ticket though. It's supposed to be $1.60 so I gave the guy $2, and he gave me 20c change! But whatever. I guess it's only 20c, but with the way I've been spending lately, I'm going to need all the small change I can get.

Last night I was clicking around on MySpace (it's changed since I last went on, which is to be expected given that I last went on about 5 months ago), and I tracked down this guy from my primary school!
I haven't seen/talked to him for six years and he looks sooo different! If you want to try to visualise him, he looks a little like Tony from the first season of Skins (only because in second season Tony's hair went all weird. Must be the coma.
Anyway, I added Tony lookalike on MySpace and MSN and we had a little chat (about as much as people who haven't seen each other in six years can say in half an hour). He has his Physics exam today.

Speaking of exams, year 12s start today. Monobrow, Christian That Loves Metal and Bestie Since Year 7 and other people that I can't think of or don't care about have theirs and I'm crossing my fingers that they do well. There doesn't seem to be much hope for CTLM, however, mostly because I noticed he spent all night on MSN and MySpace. I joke, CTLM, I joke.

However, since I am a humanities (read: better) student, I don't have mid-year exams. Thus, exams = a bunch of days off for me!
Today I did some Math homework (since I have a SAC on Tuesday) and played the piano. I created a new song, which consists of two chords and about five notes. So yes, thus far, today has been extremely (note the sarcasm) productive.

Faaaaaantastic! Probably one of the best nights of my life!!
We went in and took our seats. The Athenaeum Theatre was quite cramped; you couldn't even cross your legs. The theatre was also very warm. We were also sitting in the Upper Circle, which, as the name suggests, is the seats that are up above the rest of the seats. But I hardly cared - I was about to see The Chaser!
The show began with a bit of music being played in the background as the logo for the Variety Hour was displayed on a projector screen. This music was slowly drowned out by the excited buzzing of the audience as they began to enter.
Then came Andrew Hansen's voice, a voice I had not heard for three months or so. He started off by saying "Welcome to The Chaser's Age of Terror Variety Hour"...etc, etc. He said something about how the actual Chaser team would be replaced by some other people... Craig Reucassel by "someone even more gap-toothed" (and then a picture of someone I don't know); Julian Morrow by "someone much younger" (and then a picture of Yoda); Chris Taylor would be played by "someone that looks like him" (an extremely obese dude) ... dammit, I can't remember who else by who ... someone was supposed to be replaced by Philip Ruddock. I just remember that Chas Licciardello was mentioned first. Then... "And Andrew Hansen will be played by... ME!!"
Andrew walked out from behind the curtain. His hair had these individual spikes in it, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with some green design on it and a black blazer. He was wearing these funny shoes. They were white with green, orange and yellow designs on them. They were pretty damn cool. Then he sat down at the little keyboard and started playing a song. Now, I know that you know that Andrew is a fantastic piano player, but seeing him play just a few metres away from you reaffirms that fact so clearly. I could never get over the way his fingers just glide across the keys, and he never seems to make a mistake. He pointed at someone in the audience and scolded them for being late. This person turned out to be Julian, and Chas came in "later than Heath Ledger" too. The song was an introduction to the Variety Hour, and then Craig and Dom came out and started dancing and singing, "it's The Chaser's Age of Terror Variety Hour; if you don't like crap dancing then you'll leave pretty sour" or something to that effect. Andrew came on as the Spontaneous Salesman, I think it was called (instead of Surprise Spruiker) - he was wearing a green Surprise Spruiker outfit, and Jules became the Community Ticket Inspector or something (instead of Citizens' Infringement Officer).
They dragged some guy from the audience up on stage with them to dance before ditching him on stage temporarily.
Then they poked fun at the Rudd government, making sure to only acknowledge the Communications Minister (who works for the ABC).
Then Julian got to singing a song about the new love of his life, Lara (read: the computer given a woman's voice on the Vodafone customer service line). It was really good, especially the way that they had written the song so that it would rhyme with most of the things she says - "sorry; I didn't get that", "hold on one moment while I put you through", etc.
Next, Chas came on dressed as a "special guest all the way from the United States... Al Gore!" who talked about the impacts of Global Warming, and made a final diss at George Bush to round it off.
Andrew and Julian wore gypsy hats and stared into a glass ball, trying to predict the future in the same way Rudd tries to with the 2020 Summit. Apparently, by 2020, Bindi Irwin will be PM!
I can't remember the exact order of most of the show, but nonetheless, I will try my best.
Andrew and Chas had an Anna Coren Segue Challenge, where they each had to try and link two completely random topics in the same way she does. Craig was the judge, and asked the audience to call out any two topics. When the audience remained silent, Craig asked, "do you want me to repeat that slower?" Andrew had to link something I can't remember with "fuck the pope", and Chas had to link Bill Henson and Bill Heffernan with something else I can't remember (gosh, I'm horrible, aren't I?). Then, for the tie-breaker, they both took turns to link something I can't remember with Corey Delaney, I think.
Chas took on the gruelling, yet very entertaining, task of investigating the world of Internet Dating, something that means that you can be fundamentalist, be promiscuous, commit adultery, be mute, and even tell everyone to "fuck off" - anything but normal - and still manage to snag a bunch of guys asking you for "bowl jobs".
Another special guest they brought in from the States was Tom Cruise, played hilariously by Andrew. He portrayed old Cruise as someone that has dyslexia, dyspepsia, and confuses these both with anorexia. He also accidentally admitted that he "likes cock" before running off the stage.
Andrew also made a reference to Treeman, who, now that he will be able to recover because of doctors in the US, "we can make fun of". He sang a song about how Treeman would never be able to get laid - "you won't get shags but you'll get many roots", "the only pussy you'll ever see is when a cat gets stuck up you", etc.
There was an Age of Terror Quiz, in which two people were brought up on stage to answer questions, although Craig seemed to get them all before Jules had even finished asking the questions - "How do you know all the -" "Because I wrote the questions."
Craig also decided to teach us all about product placement, and how to advertise a particular product, using his arse as an example, through Facebook and discreetly through a SA news segment. Then he concluded saying, "but you could always just use the conventional methods", and turning around to reveal his arse-less jeans.
There was a musical about Frank Forde, the man who was PM for just eight days. Andrew played Forde, Chas played a newspaper saleman ("Extra! Extra!"), Dom played a bum, Jules played an MP, and Craig, wearing an old-fashioned frock and dress socks, played Andrew's wife. Andrew did a fantastic job, but his wig kept falling off and eventually he gave up on it, choosing instead to act as an old man with the spikes in his hair.
Julian, Chas, Andrew and Craig acted out an al-Qaeda meeting, with three Mohameds and one Pete (Andrew; no points for guessing that one right). It was quite funny. They discussed OH&S and gloated over the fact that more people were dying at work.
Dom came out shirtless and sang a song about being hairy (I'm not sure if some of his hair was stuck on, but...well, let's just say the song was rather accurate), including lyrics along the lines of, "hairless bastards like Craig Reucassel!"
Chas came on with one of those technological navigators, telling him to make jokes and ask members of the audience where they were from. He was dressed in this massive wog suit. Then he launched into a song with Dom and Craig about being "a rich kid that puts on a bogan accent". He even did a little break-dance solo.
Andrew sang a song about living in the country, or, more accurately, incest, beastiality and pedophelia due to living in the country.
Julian presented a PowerPoint presentation on the benefits of PowerPoint presentations, and their extensive use for everything from eulogies to the Hamlet soliloquy.
There was an FAQ, including questions about Andrew's hair, and what really happened after APEC. Plus, there were some very cute pictures from the group's childhood - absolutely adorable!
The boys began to wrap up their stage show with a song about how we were the worst audience ever, then when we applauded and cheered, they sang, "didn't you just hear us? Take back your applause!"
Then, to conclude, they had us all stand and sing the second verse of the Australian National Anthem. The lyrics appeared on the projector screen, including "dah dah dah" and "la la la".

It was a FANTASTIC night and I would absolutely love to go again, but I know I wouldn't enjoy it half as much the second time. The show was great and I simply can't wait to see what these guys get up to next.